(Source: otakulei)
I let myself get the better of my fears. I made and twisted my choices into something I would regret. Most of all, I hurt her for it all. Perpetuating my fears only to find myself even more lost and disoriented from my main desire. I desired nothing more but to be near her. I followed my desires, my feelings; without thought or reconsideration I threw myself into the fire only to burn myself, and burn her. I had no explanation to my broken words, but the sad recording in the back of my head. The image of her is tainted, and I only held on with the belief that somewhere deep down all the mess I helped nourish into the new her was the simple-plain her that I so carefully kept in my mind. I failed to let that image stay true to myself. Turning to fear and bitterness; I dug my own place where I could ironically catch myself stuck. I could not shake the broken feelings away. I know she tried. But not enough could quench my own mutiny on myself and her. I let words and bitterness get to me when she spoke; when I lost the focus of what I should have kept staring at all along. My simple image of her. Perhaps its a ironic and blinded beating on myself for trying to believe that I’d be fine committing myself with all the prerequisites. Instead, another casualty of the same life. I feel ashamed that I lost grip of myself. I truly am sorry for her, and hope one day she and I can share a simple moment with each other like before. But I guess I might be asking for too much. Thank you for your hope.